How do you know when you’ve found THE ONE?

 How do you find the right celebrant who will fit right in easily and become an integral part of one of the most important days of your life?

For starters, there’s a plethora of directories, websites and blogs (like this one) to get you thinking.

Do you listen to friends? Is the right one for them the right one for you? Do you need to explore what other celebrants are out there? Should you book online, phone chat, zoom meet, go with the first person you happen across, speak to several, meet with a few?

Marriage celebrant decisions. Analytical or gut-feel?

Your style of decision-making is what will work best for you.

It may be a mix of some of the above.

The majority of couples are choosing a celebrant for the first time and they’re not too sure of what they should be looking for, or even what questions to ask. Although some couples start with an identikit-clear image of exactly who they want, down to their look and style of shoes, this might not be you.

As it’s your day, you call the shots from the get-go.

First contact with your marriage celebrant

If you’re comfortable setting up that first contact appointment and you’re happy with the way it’s handled, that’s a good indication you’re on the right track.

Start with thinking where you are most comfortable in meeting with your potential celebrant. It might be a phone call or video-chat session. It could be a quick meet and greet in your lunchbreak, at home in the evening over a glass of wine or Wednesday after tennis.

Four revealing questions for finding a compatible celebrant are:

1. 1. Are they easy to find and contact?
2. 2. Is setting up the appointment a smooth process?
3. 3. Is the celebrant happy to travel and meet you when and where you choose?
4. 4. Is the celebrant happy to spend as little or as long with you as you feel comfortable?

If you hit any bumps here, this is probably a reason to uncheck that box. The ideal celebrant should:

• Get back to you promptly.
• Sound enthusiastic about meeting you.
• Show up on time.
• Be cool, calm and confident, and present well.
• Come prepared to your meeting with lots of material and input - even if that is at the tennis courts on Wednesday night.

You had me at Hello

For some couples, choosing the celebrant is the first step. They seek guidance, a sounding board, suggestions for incorporating elements and ideas for readings and music.

Others start with the vows, order the cake, book the venue and one of the final decisions is the choice of celebrant to match the mood of the day.

Most are somewhere in the middle; that is, they have a vague plan but not everything is finalised.

Hopefully that warm smile will be reciprocated at hello and there’ll be a meeting of kindred minds and spirits.

First or fiftieth wedding celebration, it’s always new.

The ideal marriage celebrant will be happy with any scenario and even if you are absolutely sure you have every detail covered, it is well worth coming to meet your celebrant with an open mind – certainly that’s how your celebrant arrives at the meeting.

It’s worth remembering that choosing your celebrant should be a joyful experience and add to the romance and fun of the celebration.

You all need to ‘get’ each other. So ask lots of questions, share your backstories, talk to your celebrant about why you chose each other, the scene you want to set on the day and the vibe you’re after.

That first meeting is the time to ask for your celebrant’s help if you’re feeling unsure of some part of the celebration. Remember, it’s your meeting so you do with it what makes you feel good. Nothing is off the table. This is one meeting that is all about you – there are no rights or wrongs.

Celebrants are much more than a service or ceremony provider. Your celebrant will have officiated at hundreds, if not thousands, of celebrations and like any expert, is always keen to share insider knowledge, tips tricks and contacts. What you all have in common is a mutual desire to make the whole experience, from the first meeting through to The Day, the best experience for everyone.